i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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