I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
