my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
