Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
