Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize