i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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