I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.