He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP