I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.