she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I've blown a few things in my day
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
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