Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?