How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I think a kid would responsible me up
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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