if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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