Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
