Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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