He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
