did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
