Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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