Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
