Is it normal to miss your booty call?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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