I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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