if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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