Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize