Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
