So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
