his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
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