it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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