So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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