Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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