Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
