end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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