Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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