I wish life had little blips of pornography
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
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