if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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