I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
She bit a glass in half.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
