I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
