I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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