She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
