I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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