woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Randomize
