A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
jump out the window naked night went bad
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