Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
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You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
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He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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