it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
