we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
This girl is more easily done than said...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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