this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
