hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
