You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
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omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
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I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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