he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
