So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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