Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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