so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
