remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
