i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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