Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
It was confusing and full of hummus
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
