How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
