He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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