Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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