Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
