check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
