And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
NoShamevember. You game?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
