i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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