I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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