Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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