I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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