First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
