I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
my poor anus
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
