tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
